I’m broke, I’m broke, man alive that ain’t no joke

21 03 2011

Just had to use a line from one of my favorite songs for this post because it really tells the truth right about now.  I was all set to do an upbeat post on how I wasn’t broke, and I am getting good at facing my financial realities as a game and finally learning the differenc between want and need. 

Until I did my revised budget for next month.  After the basics are paid for, I am $200 in the hole.  And when I say basics, I mean house payment, car payment, insurance and HOA allocation, food, utilities, and gas.  So what do I cut?  House is shelter, car is how I get to the job that doesnt’ pay me enough, insurance keeps my car healthy, HOA keeps my house from being foreclosed by a stupid HOA, food keeps me alive, utilities keep me in power and water, and gas keeps the car that gets me to the crappy job that doesn’t pay enough.   It was one thing when all my needs were paid for and I had to save for wants.  But there is no way in hell I can save up for needs each month!

Yes, I have savings but I refuse to dig into them when I have a job that should be covering my basic needs.  Especially when I helped build this company and the last one and got screwed during that deal.  And let’s not mention the $400 a month student loan payments that I have coming due in August. 

I’ve been BROKE before and I know I am not there but when I was, I was a lot younger and going through a divorce and lost alot of my ability to pay bills really fast when I had the same expenses as a two income house on one income.  I have never had to sit and watch myself become broke over time WHEN I had a job.  I now know about the working poor….I think I just became one.

So, my options at this point are to 1) look for a new full time job that pays the  bills (which I am) and 2) get a part time job (which will have to happen in May…waiting tables, here I come!!)

But, I can either let it get me down or just adjust to it until it gets better.  It always gets better and this is a lesson that apparently I need to learn or a skill I need to get better at. 

I have already had to decline a few invites out to dinner and movies.  I don’t feel comfortable coming out and telling people why.  If they ask I will tell them, but I feel like if I volunteer it then they will think I am asking for them to pay my way and I am not.  It’s just a matter of priorities.  I have a feeling it will weed out a few more of the dwindling numbers of friends I have.  And I have a feeling I know exactly which ones.




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