Stop spazzing!!

19 10 2010

So JP had to tell me last night in his wonderful not so subtle way to stop spazzing.  Very true…time to just enjoy this new feeling for however long it lasts.  Time to keep my self esteem up and remember that I do deserve him, that he does like me that way, and that not everything is destined to fail.  Even if it does, I have had this feeling and wouldn’t change it for the world. 

I also started bawling last night (no, he didn’t see this) when I was able to put an event on my calendar…Graduation.  I knew it was coming and that it would be in the next few months. But to have a definitive date and time just made it all real.  Then I got sad; thinking of all of the people in my life who started this journey with me 12 years ago and who are no longer here to witness the accomplishment.  I know they are always with me in spirit and I know they will be smiling down on me on that day but it is still bittersweet.  But, I will have my own version of family with me on that day.  I’ll have the best family that I could have ever been given by God with me.  I will also have my girlfriends who are like the sisters I never had with me.  My boss and his wife who have been with me from the start and who I see more as family than the people who sign my paycheck.  And, if the Lord willing, I will have a certain somebody there to help me start the next chapter of my life. 🙂

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